i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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