Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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