my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
