I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
