I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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