this will be a night to untag.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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