Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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