We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
