hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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