Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
