She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
