oh god the rape fog is back!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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