Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Drake has all the answers
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
