people are starting to question the shark bite story
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
