i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
