Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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