Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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