My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
