sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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