you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
