I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
