Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
