It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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