yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
