I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My pussy is not your playground.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dear god my vagina.
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