I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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