i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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