my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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