Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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