Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
