we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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