do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I need a beard to bite.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
