I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
