Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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