Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
