You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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