I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
