At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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