I got chris browned last night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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