sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
