I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
