im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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