fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He shit in the fireplace
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
