I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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