I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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