I cockslap morals
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
