i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
