some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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