Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
