Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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