I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
