I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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