he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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