Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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