Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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