So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
